Witches Brew

Oh, never laugh when a hearse goes by,
For you may be the next to die…
They wrap you up in a big white sheet,
And bury you under six feet deep.

The folks at The Family Plot invite you to celebrate the 10th anniversary of “Create a Great Funeral Plan Day.” The Family Plot: Funeral Planning for Those Who don’t Plan to Die is actually a cheery site: Blog posts include “Death Cartoons”, “Funeral Bits News,” “Funeral Home How-To”, “Memorable Life Celebrations,” and more.

Gail Rubin, author of The Family Plot, has a light touch She quotes Larry Anspach, co-founder of Funeralwise, “ Funeral planning is much like planning a wedding. It has many of the same elements, only it is a celebration of a life past instead of two lives going forward. Our Quick Plan is like the wedding engagement, when you make the most important decisions, and the details follow at a later time.”

Co-founder Rick Paskin, adds, “Considering that relatively few people have funeral plans and most do not discuss their funeral preferences with family members, even a basic plan is a great funeral plan. With the Funeralwise.com Quick Plan, you make several key choices concerning your funeral arrangements. In a matter of minutes, you complete the most important elements of a funeral plan and get a funeral cost range. That’s a great step forward for most people.”

And all goes well for ’bout a week
And then your coffin begins to leak.
The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out.
The worms play pinochle in your snout.

I tried the Quick Plan: the estimate for a simple cremation, ashes scattered at the cemetery, and a memorial service came in around $3K. Uh, I think I will skip the memorial service. One of my kitties is already dead in a pretty red box–just dump her ashes in the box with me and throw us under the hemlock tree beside the family lots in Springdale (please find a good home for the living cat). Sing “Amazing Grace” if you want. It was good enough for Spock It’s Pagan enough for me. If anybody feels a need to celebrate my life, take me to Red Lobster now! If you want to celebrate when I’m dead, feel free to order a pizza at LaGondola/Leonardo’s.

And one little worm that isn’t so shy
Crawls in your ear and out your eye.
Your eyes fall out and your teeth decay,
And that’s the end of a perfect day!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 20th, 2009 at 11:20 pm and is filed under Pagan Values. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.